Because I'm not sure even Mercury in retrograde could cover the nonsense we've been dealing with here for the last six weeks or so. In addition to the woes listed in the last post, I've developed the cold from hell (with fever. I never used to get fevers). That's on top of the weird inner ear infection/vertigo thing I had the end of last month.
So what with not being able to breathe well, I did not sleep well last night. When I heard a loud crash, I decided I didn't want to know what caused it (I figured Fiona, but not how she did it) enough to get up. Good call. Ginny informed me this morning that, based on a reconstruction of the crime scene, Fiona must have:
1. Gained access to Ginny's bathroom via a closed pocket door, possibly by jimmying her tiny paw under the door and slamming at it until the door cracked open enough for her to shove her way in,
2. jumped onto the glass shelf above Ginny's sink where
3. she engaged in her favorite game (knocking shit over just to see if she can)
4. and knocked a heavy pilsner glass into the sink, thereby
5. breaking–nay, shattering–the sink
6. and then, presumably, running away.
And I'm not talking a little crack, maybe we could fix it with some silicone. When the bottom of the glass hit the pedestal sink, it splintered the ceramic basin in three places. The upshot is yet another freaking thing I have to fix–or in this case, replace.
Lessons learned:
1. Fiona is evil. (No, wait, we already knew that).
2. No glass in either bathroom; plastic only.
3. We must put a chain on Ginny's bathroom door to prevent further incursions. We already have chains on the upstairs bathroom (to keep Gabby out of the trash basket) and on the project room door (to allow cats entrance while keeping Gabby out of the cat food and litter boxes). Our home has become a minimum security halfway house/insane asylum, because A. the animals outnumber us and B. they are sneaky.
I have high hopes that with the arrival of July, perhaps our luck will turn. In the meantime, I am devoutly hoping that nothing else will break, be broken, develop an infection, or try to drive me completely around the bend. Updates as they occur.
